THE RUB: I know you've read movie reviews before, perhaps you've even RSS'd to a few of them (to those who don't know what RSS is, I don't care), but I'm going to put a little spin on the whole reviewing thing.
THE SPIN: A lot of sites a very organized in their structure when they review, usually not straying too far off the course of what you would expect. They do this for usefulness' sake... but what I've found out is I go on Rotten Tomatoes for useful reviews. I read other people's movie reviews for entertainment's sake. I don't care if it can blend tacos and chop celery, I want to laugh a little from time to time.
BLEND TACOS?: It's just an expression.
NO IT'S NOT: Alright, you got me... The point is, I WANTED TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT TO WHAT EVERYONE ELSE WAS DOING... And why not make it fun and enthralling? A great man once said, form is a privilege the artist has won as a result of mastering function.
"A GREAT MAN"?: Yeah. Me.
So now, without further ado... LET'S GET ON WITH IT!!!
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Since I'm just starting this off, I'm going to review a movie that is one of my favorites: Back to the Future: Part II. Don't take this as indicative to my style of reviewing, but just as a means to understand exactly which kinds of movies interest me.
I was in the middle of watching one of those movie channel-produced sci-fi movies with ridiculous plots and Mark Hammil as a guest star when I started thinking of my favorite movie of all time, Back to the Future. If you know me really well, you'll also know that the 2nd one is my very favorite... But more to the point, I started wondering to myself: What makes my favorite movie... my favorite movie?
It's not like it's particularly intellectual or anything. For some reason, I can watch it over and over and over again. I don't think there is a single movie I've watched more than Back to the Future: Part II. Just everything about it; the way Robert Zemeckis portrayed the future, the way that they don't waste any time getting to the point, the way the action goes up and down and you feel like you're on the adventure with them... It's just one of those movies that makes you feel like a kid again. It doesn't belittle you for your childhood dreams either. It wants to experience those dreams WITH you... and I think that's what it's all about.
The Score
I have to say that the one thing that Back to the Future wouldn't be as iconic and as exciting without... is the music. Alan Silvestri is brilliant. The score is triumphant and exuberant, keeping you on the edge of your seat. If I were to compare it with another movie score, such as the Indiana Jones score (done by the ever-popular John Williams, responsible for the Jurassic Park score, admittedly a brilliant piece of music), I think you'll see my meaning.
While the Back to the Future score is long and nuanced, the Indiana Jones score is, when you get right down to it, short and annoying... I mean, it's just 5-notes long! Without its self-looping nature, the time it takes to get through one play through is about 10 seconds, TOPS!
But Alan Silvestri's long-running score adds SO MUCH to the mood and to the intensity of Back to the Future that you have to wonder if the movie itself would be anything special without it... which it would, but just for argument's sake... Alan Silvestri is also responsible for the Roger Rabbit score, Forrest Gump and pretty much every Robert Zemeckis film since Romancing the Stone.
Christopher Lloyd and Michael J. Fox
Without these two, the movies would truly be nothing. It's like an artist without his paint brushes. I'm not even a bit unsure when I say the movie would be nothing because often times, I find myself talking along with the characters because of HOW they say it, not just what they say, so even the script isn't as powerful as the actors themselves.
The Delorean
I hadn't previously decided to put these in order of importance, but I think that the Delorean that is used for the time machine deserves a spot right here.
They took a seemingly random car and fitted it with a slew of contraptions that don't even make sense. Yet somehow, the parts are placed in such a manner that it looks INCONCEIVABLY cool. Yes, that's right. Inconceivably. You don't know why it's cool, it just IS. Put that together with the special effects that occur when the Delorean goes back in time and you'll never see anything cooler. That is unless the Delorean is flying while doing all this.
I also think it's worth noting how neither Marty nor Doc ever remark on the electrical weirdo special effects the Delorean gives off, sorta similar to Quantum Leap in its flashiness. Incidentally, it wasn't until the last episode of Quantum Leap that they even addressed this issue.
The Comedy
Too often do sci-fi flicks take themselves way too seriously. They make the mood so thick and murky, that everyone in the movie would be too depressed to even think of a joke. Take a pretty good flick like Dark City. It had everything worth praising in a movie, but no one told any jokes. No one laughed. It was all business. I suppose they did this to make it seem more urgent to the viewer, but if you want me to invest in your world, you have to make it seem more realistic than that. People laugh sometimes. It's one of the things that makes us human. Few film makers really see that.
Dark City is often compared to The Matrix because of its similar theme and mood. Whereas I might agree on some points, the mood was entirely different because the mood that the Matrix sets is that of wonderment and a slight sense of sarcasm, like the future is some big puss bucket and what is better, living in a dream or living in the real world? They make fun of that concept and it really shines through... at least in the first film. The later two kind of diverge from that premise and see the world as fact and that comedy is a little bit lost, even if they had an opportunity to regain it.
In BttF, they frequently make you laugh, either by the ridiculous nature of the scene or because of how someone says something. Take Griff in the 2nd film. Without him speaking with the wild-eyed crazy tone of voice, the scene wouldn't nearly be as ridiculous. If he had a mellow tone, you'd start thinking he's going to kill somebody (see Biff in Alternate 1985). Instead, you still think he's going to kill somebody, but in a much funnier way. Take that as you will.
Here are some quotes that are hilarious in delivery and concept:
Doc: I went to a rejuvenation clinic and got a whole natural overhaul. [Doc starts peeling off his mask] They took out some wrinkles, did hair repair, changed the blood, added a good 30 to 40 years to my life. They also replaced my spleen and colon. What do you think? [Doc looks exactly the same]
Marty: Ya look great Doc...
Marty: Where are you going?
Doc: [Says way too fast a summary of everything they just talked about] To intercept the *real* Marty Jr. around the corner at the cafe 80's. Guy named Griff: JUST SAY NO!"
'Ronald Reagan' Video Waiter: Welcome to the Cafe 80's, where it's always morning in America, even in the afternoon. Our special today is mesquite-grilled sushi...
'Ayatollah Khomeini' Video Waiter: [interrupts] You must have the hostage special!
Marty McFly: Hey, hey, hey, hey, guys, hey, hey! All I want is a Pepsi.
Goldie Wilson III: [in TV Commercial] Hi friends, Goldie Wilson III for Wilson Hover Conversion Systems. You know, when my Grandpa was Mayor of Hill Valley, he had to worry about traffic problems. But now, you don't have to worry about traffic! I'll hover convert your old road car into into a skyway flyer! For only $39,999.95, so come on down and see me, Goldie Wilson III, at any one of our 29 convenient locations. Remember, keep 'em flying!
Marty McFly: [showing the two boys how to play the shoot 'em up video game] Let me show you, kid. I'm a crack shot at this.
[shoots a perfect score with the electronic gun]
Video Game Boy #1: You mean you have to use your hands?
Video Game Boy #2: That's like a baby's toy!
Marty McFly: [turns and is faced by huge hologram of the shark in "Jaws 19". Screams, crouches, and covers head. Shark closes mouth on him, then disappears. Marty stands and straightens jacket] Shark still looks fake.
Doc: They're taking her home, to YOUR future home! We'll arrive shortly thereafter, get her out of there and go back to 1985!
Marty McFly: You mean, I'm going to see where I live? I'm gonna see myself as an old man?
Doc: No, no, no Marty, that could result in a... Great scott! Jennifer could conceivably encounter her future self! The consequences of that could be disastrous!
Marty McFly: Doc, what do you mean?
Doc: I foresee two possibilities. One, coming face to face with herself 30 years older would put her into shock and she would simply pass out. Or two, the encounter could create a time paradox, the results of which could start a chain reaction that would unravel the very fabric of the space time continuum, and destroy the entire universe! Granted, that's a worse case scenario. The destruction might in fact be very localized, limited to our own galaxy.
Marty McFly: Well, that's a relief.
The Intensity
I've told you the comedy side of BttF, but then, BttF also knows when to drop the mood dramatically to make the scene more intense. There are several of these perfectly executed scenes, namely the Biff in Alternate 1985 scene in BttF Part 2, the iconic scene of Marty's dad knocking Biff out at the dance in 1955 in Part 1, the scene where Marty is trying to rescue himself from being jumped by some goons, the scene where Marty is hoverboarding alongside Biff's car trying to sneak in to take back the almanac, and the scene where Doc is explaining the Alternate 1985 to Marty in Part 2..There are also other scenes, but they're not as dramatic and intense as the ones mentioned above and some of them are pretty comedic. Most of the scenes in BttF Part 3 are like that, which I guess is why it's probably the least liked of the 3.
The Gadgets
Everyone's going to say the hoverboard, but that's a given. Granted, Marty uses it to GREAT effect in the last two movies. In Part 2, when he goes back to 1955 and uses it to get the book back from Biff while Biff's driving his car, Biff doesn't even care to address the issue of how Marty is basically kneeling outside of his car door at 50 miles per hour. Then again, thinking's not exactly Biff's strong suit.
They even pay homage to the chase scene from the first movie with a similar scene that plays out in much the same way, only this time with hoverboards. Yes, that's right. They pay homage to themselves. How cool do you have to be to be able to pull that off? You can catch Old Biff respond in the middle of the chase with "There's something very familiar about all this." Even more hilarious, once you've seen the first two films, is to see the third one and see how ill equipped Marty is in the Old West being dragged through town by a rope by Mad Dog Tanen and his gang and set to hang.
There are other gadgets that are perhaps even more effective that you probably have forgotten. For instance, the ridiculous invention of the "sleep-inducing-alpha-rhythm-generator" is essentially a device that will knock you the hell out. Doc uses it on Jennifer in the beginning of Part 2. The best part about it is that it was completely unnecessary. Doc could have just said "Look, it's not a smart idea to ask too many questions about your own future." and then left it at that. Instead, he uses it on her and then doesn't even have enough power left to use it on Marty's son. Buttloads of trouble ensues.
Another gadget are the shoes with POWER LACES. How neat is that? You don't even have to tie your frickin' shoes in the future! You'd think everyone's hands would simply shrivel up from non use or something.
A ridiculous gadget I still don't get the function of is Doc's weirdass sunglasses in Part II. They're essentially a large metal plate that he puts on his face. What's the point? Do they make you see everything in X-ray or something? Is Doc a dirty perv or something? If you've seen the deleted scenes in Part 1, you'll know this to be true. And if they're sunglasses, why was Doc wearing them at night? It makes no sense.
Marty's jacket. Not only does it adjust size for its wearer, it has a built in jacket dryer in case you should fall in a river. I suppose that's a common pitfall in the future. Not only have people's hands shriveled up, but their legs can't even support them anymore.
The TV in Old Marty's house. It shows up to 9 or so different channels at a time. This way you don't have to miss anything ever! How you could concentrate on all at once is a quest in futility, however. I guess they thought of ADD and the consequences of it on future generations. It's even funnier when you think back to Part 1 when they said no one could afford *two* television sets, let alone one that is essentially nine of them.
And here are a few things you probably won't get unless you've seen the movie:
"Lights On."
Doors without doorknobs, but plates that you put your thumb on (admittedly pretty cool).
Voice activated stuff that doesn't work half the time.
The Scenery Channel serves as a better window than the real thing.
The fax that faxes to every part of the house, even... the closet?
The implied gadget. When Marty tries to impress some little kids with his shooting prowess in Wild Gunman, they respond with "You mean you have to use your hands? That's like a baby's toy!" What types of games are these kids playing in which they don't even have to use their HANDS anymore? Or, I guess they can't use them anymore... since they're shriveled.
The Philosophy
Granted, Doc isn't the best of planners in this movie. Actually, he's probably a worse planner in this part than any of the others. I mean, he essentially created his and Marty's own tomb in 1885 by bringing Marty to the future, where Marty got the almanac, that was thrown away and picked up by Biff, who changed the future, to which Doc and Marty had to go back in time to retrieve and destroy, to which Doc was sent back in time by a bolt of lightning and that forces Marty to go back and rescue him and bust the fuel line, to which Marty and Doc have to wade it out in 1885 until a train comes in which they screw up history in the process... but the simple fact is the whole movie ended saying that you shouldn't fuck up in life because then your future will be fucked up. If Doc hadn't brought Marty to the future and just TOLD him that, they wouldn't have had any problems... but then we wouldn't have had a funtastic (making up a word there) adventure, would we? So in the end, I'm glad Doc is such a screwed up, crackpot of a scientist.
